4 Tips for a Memorable Thanksgiving: A Focus on Family History
Thanksgiving dinner - old

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Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and many families are looking forward to sharing a gastronomical smorgasbord with extended family members. Last year, AAA estimated that 43.6 million Americans journeyed 50 miles or more from home during the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. In addition to keeping our U.S. travel industry in business, these individuals place a priority on – and understand the value of – family.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that everyone gets along. Far from it; many of us have bribed a spouse or sibling into traversing across the country to see that one individual who, years ago, we were so glad to move away from. Yet as extended families (both functional and dysfunctional) reunite around the food-laden table, a phenomenon takes place as differences are briefly set aside and reminiscences take center stage. What better time to preserve those family memories?

  • Recordings
    One of the best ways to capitalize on this gathering is to record the conversations. After all, who is going to take the initiative to handwrite a summary of the day’s conversations on a full stomach while trying to watch the football game or snag a Black Friday deal? Although it may initially seem unnatural to many family members to have a digital recorder placed in front of them on the dinner table or a camcorder set up in the corner aimed at them, you will find that after about 10-15 minutes of talking about a favorite family memory, they will begin to relax and become less self-conscious. Tip: Be sure to have on hand extra charged batteries and memory cards.
  • Pictures
    Don’t underestimate the memory-jogging power of family photos. If you possess some old, unlabeled pictures and you can’t identify all of the people in the images, bring them with you to the gathering and ask older family members to help solve the mystery. Even if they can’t recall the names, they may recognize the background and share some additional interesting stories. Tip: In addition to taking the traditional group family photos at your gathering, take random pictures throughout the day, including the family members looking at the old photos.
  • Recipes
    Because Thanksgiving is synonymous with turkey and all of the trimmings, why not commemorate your relatives’ famous side dishes and desserts?  Notify them beforehand that you would like to obtain their recipes and ask them to bring copies to the gathering. If they’re tech savvy, you can set up an account with an online print-on-demand cookbook site and invite your relatives to enter the recipes there. Once all of you have entered the desired amount of recipes, you can create and order your own family cookbook.
  • Share
    Regardless of whether you do all of the above or just one aspect, don’t keep the information to yourself. Obtain everyone’s current snail mail, email and social media contact information before the gathering disperses. When you return home, make copies of the recordings, videos, photos, and/or recipes and send them to your extended family. Who knows? That might be the peace offering to remove that old family grudge.

The most important thing is for you to enjoy your holiday. Don’t become overzealous in your attempts to document family history; it will only cause you stress and annoy your family. Make it casual and fun, and even if you don’t solve the mystery of a photo or you forget to press “Record” on your camcorder, the important thing is that you get everyone talking about your family’s history, which can open the door for a new tradition at future family gatherings.

From Home Front to War Front: Documenting Veterans’ Experiences

Declaration and FlagI am proud to be an American, and on this Veterans Day, I am humbly reminded of the sacrifices that my fellow countrymen and women have made to ensure that the United States of America remains “the land of the free and the home of the brave.” As the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs states: “The … observance of Veterans Day [on] November 11 not only preserves the historical significance of the date [the Armistice of WWI on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month], but helps focus attention on the important purpose of Veterans Day: A celebration to honor America’s veterans for their patriotism, love of country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good” (for more information on the history of Veterans Day, visit http://www.va.gov/opa/vetsday/vetdayhistory.asp).

Living in southeastern North Carolina, I am surrounded by a U.S. military presence. The area is home to Camp LeJeune (Marines), Fort Bragg (Army), Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, and U.S. Coast Guard stations. In the Wilmington area, a variety of landmarks also serve as visual reminders of the valor and selflessness of the nations’ veterans throughout history: Moore’s Creek National Battlefield preserves the significant Revolutionary War battle that occurred there, Fort Fisher and the Wilmington National Cemetery memorialize the Civil War engagements that dealt a critical blow to Southern supply lines, the majestic battleship U.S.S. North Carolina welcomes visitors aboard to learn about her crew’s impressive campaigns during WWII, and the frequent docking of the U.S. Coast Guard cutter Diligence along the Cape Fear River represents our country’s continued protection of our coastal waters.

Yet on Veterans Day, it seems appropriate to take time to reflect on the service members themselves rather than on their general presence or the tours that the historical landmarks offer. As a personal historian, I am especially interested in individual experiences – not just what happened, but also what thoughts and emotions were intertwined with the events.

My father served in the Army National Guard for many years. I wish that he were here today so that I could ask him about his experiences at boot camp and the relief/assistance missions that he participated in here in the States. As it is, I am left with a few childhood memories of him teaching me how to march while chanting the cadence (“I don’t know but I’ve been told! … Sound off [1,2], Sound off [3,4]…”), showing me his bivouac gear and rations, and me proudly watching him as he marched with our town’s American Legion post in various parades. On a few occasions, he took me to “the Legion” – it was a treat for me because although I participated in the American Legion Little League program, I was typically only allowed on the ball fields, not inside the building itself. I loved to listen in on the adult conversations as I nibbled on french-fries and sipped a soft drink.

Today, my love of listening to, and reading about, others’ stories has not waned. I am intrigued by reading the diaries and love letters of soldiers (see http://www.teacheroz.com/WWII_Oral_History.htm for a great list) and I have been honored to help preserve the Air Force experiences of one of my clients.

If you possess a box filled with a relative’s war correspondence or journals, I encourage you to preserve them and make them accessible to other family members and the public in general. Photocopy the originals (if they are fragile or are showing signs of wear, first consult with a professional to avoid potential damage caused by the scanning process) and transcribe them into a Word document, which will make it easy to send to family members via email or to print multiple copies. Then contact your local historical society and library and offer to provide them with copies.

If you are fortunate enough to still be able to visit with a veteran, particularly one who is a family member, consider conducting a recorded oral interview (or a series of interviews). These recordings can also be transcribed into a written work, if so desired. Interviews are fun to do, and the result is priceless. The Veterans History Project is a fantastic resource to help you in this endeavor, plus it results in the preservation of your veteran’s experience within the Library of Congress’ American Folklife Center (for more information, visit http://www.loc.gov/vets/).

To any veterans reading this post, I want to say “thank you.” These two words seem so small, but they contain heartfelt gratitude for your willingness to defend this amazing country and its citizens.

Beyond the Facts: Memoirs that Entertain the Reader
men laughing while reading paper

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I recently participated in The Memoir Network’s teleclass, “How to Find Your Images and Metaphors,” taught by the organization’s founder, Denis Ledoux. As he noted, a memoir or personal history should not only provide the facts (who, what, when, where), it should also convey emotion.

It can be fun to perform research, make discoveries and accumulate facts, but let’s face it – a mere listing of events or names on a family tree can make for some very dry and less-than-stimulating reading. Make the characters come alive by infusing emotion into the story, and don’t be afraid to expand the setting and action. This can be achieved by utilizing vivid descriptions (imagery) and comparisons (similes and metaphors) to better create a mind picture for the reader.

For example, the following is grammatically correct, but merely states facts:

My father, a volunteer fireman, was frequently summoned by the town’s fire siren.

Now consider a more descriptive version:

My father, a volunteer fireman, was frequently jarred to attention and summoned by the sudden piercing wail of the town’s fire siren – a sound as mournful and chilling as the random coyote’s howl.

Don’t worry about becoming too verbose – incorporate as much detail and description as you can. When precise words fail you, turn to metaphors and similes to help you convey the meaning, but try to avoid clichés. Be creative! Think of something new and out-of-the-box to engage the reader. Write whatever comes to mind – remember, you can revise and condense if necessary at a later time.

Yes, adding emotion and descriptions will require extra effort, but it will culminate in a much more engaging and entertaining memoir.

Top 5 Reasons to Preserve Family Stories
  1. Love Letter - iStockphotoNo one else can write a story about your life as accurately as you can. You know yourself better than anyone else. For example, family members probably know when you were born and married, and where you lived and worked.  But unless they directly ask you, they will have no idea what your childhood was like or what you were thinking during your first job interview.
  2. Reflection often brings better understanding of past experiences. Celebrate your accomplishments, but discuss the difficult aspects of your life as well. When we are in the middle of a difficult situation, we’re often in survival mode – focusing on how to get through the ordeal. It’s only afterward, sometimes years later, that we come to understand the meaning of the situation and how we grew from the experience. In addition, reminiscence is a growing trend that in some cases can improve cognitive functioning, reduce depression and increase self-esteem.
  3. It’s a way to impart your morals, values, hopes and dreams to future generations. Facts are important and serve a purpose, but being willing to go beyond the basics to share your advice and beliefs will impact others in a much more meaningful way. Be honest – wouldn’t it be nice to know that future generations will get to know you as a person, rather than just another name on the family tree or some face in a photo album?
  4. You have a unique connection to the past. Social norms, geographical locations and popular trends helped to shape your life. This is where photos, letters, memorabilia, recipes, awards and more turn your story into a one-of-a-kind historical artifact.
  5. You can become the link to the past for family members who are now deceased. Even though it may be too late to obtain a first-person interview with your great-grandmother, you can document your own memories of her and ask other family members to share their recollections of what she was like.
Avoid A Tragedy – Share Your Life Story
man with head in hands

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Let’s face it: Life is chaotic and seems to move at warp speed. Every day we’re faced with myriad decisions, countless things to check off our to-do lists, work and family responsibilities … the list goes on. We fill our days to overflowing in a perpetual cycle. Rarely do we take the time to document our discoveries, joys, and challenges.

Although there are some who manage to carve out time to maintain a daily journal, and some who write about their travels, few sift through their volumes of notebooks to pinpoint strategic moments that helped to shape their lives and write about the lessons that they have learned. Yet this is what enables us to not only build our own character, but to also mentor and encourage those closest to us – even after we’re gone.

As a personal historian, I am privileged to gain access to the precious memories of my clients. One client in particular recognized the importance of documenting his story. He contacted me during the end stages of his battle with cancer. As with all of my clients, I met with him in the comfort of his home. As we sat in his office – he reclining in his La-Z-Boy and I seated in his leather armchair – he recounted his childhood in vivid detail. All I had to do was attentively listen and ask an occasional question for clarification. Remembering certain events and speaking of beloved people brought occasional tears to his eyes, and many times he would stop and say, “You know? I’ve never told my children about that.”

In fact, he had never told his children much at all about his life before their births. His adult life had revolved around providing for his family, and although he had been a very active father figure – coaching the children’s soccer teams and taking family vacations – he had never shared the lessons from his past. When he contacted me, he realized the importance of documenting his childhood and young adult life for his children and grandchildren. Unfortunately, he passed away before he was able to share all that he had intended to document. But his children are very grateful to now possess a book that contains a part of their father that they never knew before.

Don’t let the same tragedy happen to your personal history. Beginning your life story is as simple as selecting one major life event and writing about it. No matter how small or large the end result, your loved ones will cherish it.