How Do You Want to Be Remembered? 5 Steps to Begin a Personal History
Grandfather and Grandaughter Walking Away

Source: Creative Commons

Unlike Christmas – when people generally focus on others – New Year’s tends to cause people to focus on themselves, particularly how they can improve their lives. Almost everyone, at some point, has attempted to accomplish at least one resolution: Lose weight. Stop smoking. Spend more time with family. The list is endless.

The finality of a year ending also tends to make people introspective. Year in and year out we reflect on our successes and accomplishments as well as our losses and failures, yet often we do not take cumulative stock of those experiences. This is the crux of personal history – the ability to dig below the surface of events in order to provide treasured insight. It’s an incredibly poignant way to ensure that your life lessons, belief systems, and values are passed on to future generations. All too frequently people say to me, “My life hasn’t been very interesting; there’s nothing to tell” or “I’m too young to write about my life” or “I’m not famous; no one would be interested in reading my story.” Nothing could be farther from the truth! “There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside the dullest exterior, there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.” Mark Twain Regardless of how old you are, how mundane your life may seem, or whether or not you feel worthy of such an endeavor, future generations will treasure your life story. Think back to your own ancestors. Wouldn’t you love to know what great-great-grandpa was thinking during his ocean voyage to Ellis Island? The secrets to your grandparents’ fifty-year marriage? The emotional, social and financial struggles your mom overcame as a single parent? What compelled your dad to adhere to his work ethic? The same types of questions will be asked about you by your future descendants unless you become proactive and document your experiences for them. So how do you start a personal history?

  1. Determine the method that suits you best. Do you prefer to write in journals? Type your thoughts in a word-processing software program? Record yourself speaking?
  2. Select a topic. Even if your goal is to create an all-encompassing life story, you have to narrow your focus in order to start. Is there a life-changing experience you can share? A historically significant event in which you participated? Values you wish to impart?
  3. Designate time. Carve out a block of time (whether it’s fifteen minutes, a half hour or two hours) and a frequency (once a day, twice a week, etc.). Actually add it to your calendar and try to stick to the schedule.
  4. Choose a location. Do you think better in a noisy, crowded place like a coffee shop? Or do you prefer to work in quiet isolation at home?
  5. Write or record. Take a deep breath and begin. Don’t worry about spelling and run-on sentences at this point; the important thing is to simply start writing (or typing or recording) about the topic you selected.

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Avoid A Tragedy – Share Your Life Story
man with head in hands

Source: Creative Commons

Let’s face it: Life is chaotic and seems to move at warp speed. Every day we’re faced with myriad decisions, countless things to check off our to-do lists, work and family responsibilities … the list goes on. We fill our days to overflowing in a perpetual cycle. Rarely do we take the time to document our discoveries, joys, and challenges.

Although there are some who manage to carve out time to maintain a daily journal, and some who write about their travels, few sift through their volumes of notebooks to pinpoint strategic moments that helped to shape their lives and write about the lessons that they have learned. Yet this is what enables us to not only build our own character, but to also mentor and encourage those closest to us – even after we’re gone.

As a personal historian, I am privileged to gain access to the precious memories of my clients. One client in particular recognized the importance of documenting his story. He contacted me during the end stages of his battle with cancer. As with all of my clients, I met with him in the comfort of his home. As we sat in his office – he reclining in his La-Z-Boy and I seated in his leather armchair – he recounted his childhood in vivid detail. All I had to do was attentively listen and ask an occasional question for clarification. Remembering certain events and speaking of beloved people brought occasional tears to his eyes, and many times he would stop and say, “You know? I’ve never told my children about that.”

In fact, he had never told his children much at all about his life before their births. His adult life had revolved around providing for his family, and although he had been a very active father figure – coaching the children’s soccer teams and taking family vacations – he had never shared the lessons from his past. When he contacted me, he realized the importance of documenting his childhood and young adult life for his children and grandchildren. Unfortunately, he passed away before he was able to share all that he had intended to document. But his children are very grateful to now possess a book that contains a part of their father that they never knew before.

Don’t let the same tragedy happen to your personal history. Beginning your life story is as simple as selecting one major life event and writing about it. No matter how small or large the end result, your loved ones will cherish it.