How Do You Want to Be Remembered? 5 Steps to Begin a Personal History
Grandfather and Grandaughter Walking Away

Source: Creative Commons

Unlike Christmas – when people generally focus on others – New Year’s tends to cause people to focus on themselves, particularly how they can improve their lives. Almost everyone, at some point, has attempted to accomplish at least one resolution: Lose weight. Stop smoking. Spend more time with family. The list is endless.

The finality of a year ending also tends to make people introspective. Year in and year out we reflect on our successes and accomplishments as well as our losses and failures, yet often we do not take cumulative stock of those experiences. This is the crux of personal history – the ability to dig below the surface of events in order to provide treasured insight. It’s an incredibly poignant way to ensure that your life lessons, belief systems, and values are passed on to future generations. All too frequently people say to me, “My life hasn’t been very interesting; there’s nothing to tell” or “I’m too young to write about my life” or “I’m not famous; no one would be interested in reading my story.” Nothing could be farther from the truth! “There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside the dullest exterior, there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.” Mark Twain Regardless of how old you are, how mundane your life may seem, or whether or not you feel worthy of such an endeavor, future generations will treasure your life story. Think back to your own ancestors. Wouldn’t you love to know what great-great-grandpa was thinking during his ocean voyage to Ellis Island? The secrets to your grandparents’ fifty-year marriage? The emotional, social and financial struggles your mom overcame as a single parent? What compelled your dad to adhere to his work ethic? The same types of questions will be asked about you by your future descendants unless you become proactive and document your experiences for them. So how do you start a personal history?

  1. Determine the method that suits you best. Do you prefer to write in journals? Type your thoughts in a word-processing software program? Record yourself speaking?
  2. Select a topic. Even if your goal is to create an all-encompassing life story, you have to narrow your focus in order to start. Is there a life-changing experience you can share? A historically significant event in which you participated? Values you wish to impart?
  3. Designate time. Carve out a block of time (whether it’s fifteen minutes, a half hour or two hours) and a frequency (once a day, twice a week, etc.). Actually add it to your calendar and try to stick to the schedule.
  4. Choose a location. Do you think better in a noisy, crowded place like a coffee shop? Or do you prefer to work in quiet isolation at home?
  5. Write or record. Take a deep breath and begin. Don’t worry about spelling and run-on sentences at this point; the important thing is to simply start writing (or typing or recording) about the topic you selected.

Want to learn more? Sign up to follow my blog for additional personal history tips, resources, and discussions of life experiences. I welcome your comments, and if there’s a particular aspect of personal history that you would like me to address, let me know!

4 Tips for a Memorable Thanksgiving: A Focus on Family History
Thanksgiving dinner - old

Source: Creative Commons

Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and many families are looking forward to sharing a gastronomical smorgasbord with extended family members. Last year, AAA estimated that 43.6 million Americans journeyed 50 miles or more from home during the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. In addition to keeping our U.S. travel industry in business, these individuals place a priority on – and understand the value of – family.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that everyone gets along. Far from it; many of us have bribed a spouse or sibling into traversing across the country to see that one individual who, years ago, we were so glad to move away from. Yet as extended families (both functional and dysfunctional) reunite around the food-laden table, a phenomenon takes place as differences are briefly set aside and reminiscences take center stage. What better time to preserve those family memories?

  • Recordings
    One of the best ways to capitalize on this gathering is to record the conversations. After all, who is going to take the initiative to handwrite a summary of the day’s conversations on a full stomach while trying to watch the football game or snag a Black Friday deal? Although it may initially seem unnatural to many family members to have a digital recorder placed in front of them on the dinner table or a camcorder set up in the corner aimed at them, you will find that after about 10-15 minutes of talking about a favorite family memory, they will begin to relax and become less self-conscious. Tip: Be sure to have on hand extra charged batteries and memory cards.
  • Pictures
    Don’t underestimate the memory-jogging power of family photos. If you possess some old, unlabeled pictures and you can’t identify all of the people in the images, bring them with you to the gathering and ask older family members to help solve the mystery. Even if they can’t recall the names, they may recognize the background and share some additional interesting stories. Tip: In addition to taking the traditional group family photos at your gathering, take random pictures throughout the day, including the family members looking at the old photos.
  • Recipes
    Because Thanksgiving is synonymous with turkey and all of the trimmings, why not commemorate your relatives’ famous side dishes and desserts?  Notify them beforehand that you would like to obtain their recipes and ask them to bring copies to the gathering. If they’re tech savvy, you can set up an account with an online print-on-demand cookbook site and invite your relatives to enter the recipes there. Once all of you have entered the desired amount of recipes, you can create and order your own family cookbook.
  • Share
    Regardless of whether you do all of the above or just one aspect, don’t keep the information to yourself. Obtain everyone’s current snail mail, email and social media contact information before the gathering disperses. When you return home, make copies of the recordings, videos, photos, and/or recipes and send them to your extended family. Who knows? That might be the peace offering to remove that old family grudge.

The most important thing is for you to enjoy your holiday. Don’t become overzealous in your attempts to document family history; it will only cause you stress and annoy your family. Make it casual and fun, and even if you don’t solve the mystery of a photo or you forget to press “Record” on your camcorder, the important thing is that you get everyone talking about your family’s history, which can open the door for a new tradition at future family gatherings.

From Home Front to War Front: Documenting Veterans’ Experiences

Declaration and FlagI am proud to be an American, and on this Veterans Day, I am humbly reminded of the sacrifices that my fellow countrymen and women have made to ensure that the United States of America remains “the land of the free and the home of the brave.” As the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs states: “The … observance of Veterans Day [on] November 11 not only preserves the historical significance of the date [the Armistice of WWI on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month], but helps focus attention on the important purpose of Veterans Day: A celebration to honor America’s veterans for their patriotism, love of country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good” (for more information on the history of Veterans Day, visit http://www.va.gov/opa/vetsday/vetdayhistory.asp).

Living in southeastern North Carolina, I am surrounded by a U.S. military presence. The area is home to Camp LeJeune (Marines), Fort Bragg (Army), Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, and U.S. Coast Guard stations. In the Wilmington area, a variety of landmarks also serve as visual reminders of the valor and selflessness of the nations’ veterans throughout history: Moore’s Creek National Battlefield preserves the significant Revolutionary War battle that occurred there, Fort Fisher and the Wilmington National Cemetery memorialize the Civil War engagements that dealt a critical blow to Southern supply lines, the majestic battleship U.S.S. North Carolina welcomes visitors aboard to learn about her crew’s impressive campaigns during WWII, and the frequent docking of the U.S. Coast Guard cutter Diligence along the Cape Fear River represents our country’s continued protection of our coastal waters.

Yet on Veterans Day, it seems appropriate to take time to reflect on the service members themselves rather than on their general presence or the tours that the historical landmarks offer. As a personal historian, I am especially interested in individual experiences – not just what happened, but also what thoughts and emotions were intertwined with the events.

My father served in the Army National Guard for many years. I wish that he were here today so that I could ask him about his experiences at boot camp and the relief/assistance missions that he participated in here in the States. As it is, I am left with a few childhood memories of him teaching me how to march while chanting the cadence (“I don’t know but I’ve been told! … Sound off [1,2], Sound off [3,4]…”), showing me his bivouac gear and rations, and me proudly watching him as he marched with our town’s American Legion post in various parades. On a few occasions, he took me to “the Legion” – it was a treat for me because although I participated in the American Legion Little League program, I was typically only allowed on the ball fields, not inside the building itself. I loved to listen in on the adult conversations as I nibbled on french-fries and sipped a soft drink.

Today, my love of listening to, and reading about, others’ stories has not waned. I am intrigued by reading the diaries and love letters of soldiers (see http://www.teacheroz.com/WWII_Oral_History.htm for a great list) and I have been honored to help preserve the Air Force experiences of one of my clients.

If you possess a box filled with a relative’s war correspondence or journals, I encourage you to preserve them and make them accessible to other family members and the public in general. Photocopy the originals (if they are fragile or are showing signs of wear, first consult with a professional to avoid potential damage caused by the scanning process) and transcribe them into a Word document, which will make it easy to send to family members via email or to print multiple copies. Then contact your local historical society and library and offer to provide them with copies.

If you are fortunate enough to still be able to visit with a veteran, particularly one who is a family member, consider conducting a recorded oral interview (or a series of interviews). These recordings can also be transcribed into a written work, if so desired. Interviews are fun to do, and the result is priceless. The Veterans History Project is a fantastic resource to help you in this endeavor, plus it results in the preservation of your veteran’s experience within the Library of Congress’ American Folklife Center (for more information, visit http://www.loc.gov/vets/).

To any veterans reading this post, I want to say “thank you.” These two words seem so small, but they contain heartfelt gratitude for your willingness to defend this amazing country and its citizens.

An Uninvited Pet

Lizard on Truck - reducedThe great thing about personal history is that everything that happens to you is relevant to your life story. Take pets, for example. They provide innumerable moments of joy and happy memories, prompting some people to devote entire chapters within their memoirs to their beloved pets.

I’m certain that my family could write several chapters about all of our pets through the years, as we have almost always had at least one pet. However, since the passing of our cockatiel a year ago and our cocker spaniel three months ago, we have been pet free. The boys are frequently asking for a new companion, of differing species depending on the week. The five-year old has asked for a fish and a frog. The eleven-year old would love another dog, but has also asked for a cat. The upcoming 4-H project involves a dozen incubated chicken eggs, but their father and I have put our foot down on keeping the eventual cute and fluffy chicks that will quickly turn into squawking, clucking, and generally annoying (and occasionally aggressive) hens and roosters (I know this from firsthand experience, but that’s another story).

Although I truly loved our beloved and now-deceased pets, I must admit that I do not miss the scattered birdseed and rogue feathers, nor do I miss the incessant and futile vacuuming required as the owner of a dog with black fur. I have actually been enjoying the pet reprieve and am not in a hurry to replace them.

It never occurred to me that perhaps an animal would make the decision to become our pet on its own. As I drew back the dining room curtains the other morning, I was startled by movement near the top of the curtain rod.  Glancing on top of the china cupboard, I was met by the intense stare of a green lizard as he sat perched on one of my son’s trophies.

Lizard on Roof - reduced IINot daunted at all by my immediate order to get out of our home, he merely jumped onto the side of my son’s model rocket. Amazed that the creature had not knocked over the lightweight rocket, I grabbed my camera (see photos below). I couldn’t resist the chance to take some photos of him – after all, how often does a lizard pretend to blast off into space? He didn’t mind the photo op; in fact, I think he posed for it before meandering across the top of the cupboard. I wasn’t sure what to do. Not generally a fan of reptiles, I do think the little chameleon-like lizards native to our coastal home (Green Anole – Anolis carolinensis; they change from green to brown, depending on their surroundings) are cute. However, they’re not cute enough for me to want to hold one, and certainly not adorable enough to reside inside my home.

Of course this occurred while my children – who love to catch and play with the things – were at school. As I pondered what to do, the impudent lizard decided to go for another joy ride. He climbed onto the bed of my youngest son’s derby truck and simply stared at me. Then he climbed onto the roof of the truck, as if perhaps that would make him go faster. After taking a few more pictures, I turned to place the camera on the counter. Turning back around, I no longer saw him.

That was two days ago. I have not seen the lizard since. I hope that he managed to find a way outside and is not galavanting around different rooms in my house, proud of his new abode. I’ll keep you posted if I see him again. In the meantime, please share your own wildlife stories – I would love to hear what has happened in your household!

 

Back-to-School Reality
school building

Source: Creative Commons

Entering into the fourth week of the new school year, I finally have time to return to my blog. The flurry of end-of-summer activities and back-to-school preparations somehow always catch me off guard. This year, I had to double my efforts as my second child officially entered the school system.

As is customary for many children, my kids were filled with both excitement and trepidation on that first day of school. My oldest was excited only for the fact that he would be seeing his friends every day. My youngest was eager to be a “big” kid and see firsthand what “real” school (apparently, preschool did not count) was all about.

I planned to provide them with a great breakfast, get them there before the masses arrived, and take Pinterest-worthy photographs of their big day.  In reality, I overslept, fed them cold cereal, and broke the speed limit only to stand in line with a throng of other highly stressed parents and children as we endured the new security procedures. As for my post-worthy photos, I had to be content with a sour-looking expression from my oldest and a partially blurry image of my youngest as he moved with the crowd into the school.

Despite my failures and the chaotic start to their school year, they are enjoying it, making new friends, and they are creating memories. That realization got me to thinking about my own school memories. I do not vividly recall my very first day of school (not until college, anyway), but I do remember many other things. My education began with half-day kindergarten where making cottage cheese and playing instruments in music class come to mind. Elementary school was filled with wall-mounted pencil sharpeners, cleaning chalkboard erasers, cherry-bumping kids on the teeter-totter, spelling bees, learning multiplication facts in fourth grade, learning to play the clarinet, and being startled by the sudden THWAK of a serving spoon (wielded by the cafeteria monitor) hitting a lunch table to subdue the din caused by all six grades of students at one time in a combined gymnasium and cafeteria.

As for high school, I loved it. There are so many memories, I could write an entire book about them. Thus, when my personal history clients are having a difficult time knowing where to start or what to talk about, I often recommend discussing their school memories. No matter what their experiences – whether good or bad – they remember a great deal about their school years. That one topic includes a variety of categories (i.e., friends, teachers, rules, transportation, meals, discipline, sports, and classes) that can then lead to deeper discussions about the society and events of that particular era.

What about you? What are some of your school memories? Share them here in the Comments section, and be sure to document them privately for your family as well.

A Case for Old-Fashioned Interaction
old photo album

Source: Creative Commons

There’s something special about blowing the dust off the lid of a faded box and slowly removing its contents. Immediately, you are transported back in time as you decipher handwritten letters, gaze at black-and-white photographs, and carefully inspect random memorabilia. It is even more rewarding to look through those treasures with loved ones as they reflect on their past experiences. The problem is that such moments are themselves becoming things of the past in our fast-paced, technological and far-flung world.

In today’s society, rather than taking the time to pen handwritten letters and cards, we opt to share our life experiences via social media outlets such as Facebook and Twitter and send e-Cards. Instead of ordering double prints and painstakingly labeling the back of each photo before mailing them to friends and family, we digitally upload and share our pictures on photo storage sites like Snapfish and Shutterfly. It’s instantaneous and, many might argue, still reflects the same amount of consideration toward the recipient.

However, looking at something through a screen is a far cry from the sensory experience of actually holding an item in your hands. Take an old diary or journal, for example. Not only can you look at it closely at varying angles in order to decipher the handwriting, but you can touch it. You can feel the smoothness of the worn leather cover and the brittleness of the yellowing, stained pages. You can hear the gentle crinkle of the pages as they are turned and the soft whisper of an old photo or theater ticket as it falls to the floor. Depending on where the journal was stored or how old it is, you might detect the distinct smell of aging paper or even a trace scent of flowers from an old sachet.

It is undeniable that the Internet and technology offer us much in the way of communication, but we all crave face-to-face interaction occasionally. This is especially true for the oldest members of our society. Oftentimes, seniors wish to talk about their experiences and share their learned lessons with loved ones, but this actually only takes place, if at all, at holidays or other family get-togethers. These tend to be stressful times when many are distracted by the meal preparations, the big game on TV and exuberant children on a sugar rush.

It should come as no surprise, then, that my clients enjoy the dedicated one and two-hour intervals that we sit together; a time where they get to discuss, at length and uninterrupted, on the topics of their life experiences. Frequently, they get so excited about the process that they jot down notes in preparation for the next interview session, not wanting to overlook an important, amusing, or insightful event.

If you are fortunate enough to still have living grandparents and/or aging parents, try to take the time to sit and listen to them. You may need to ask a few questions to get them started, but you will soon discover how easily they relax and begin to engage you in their stories. Take notes, record the session and enjoy the experience. It will be treasured by each of you, as well as your descendants.