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A Gift Your Dad Will Appreciate
Source: Creative Commons

Source: Creative Commons

Maybe your dad already has enough ties, grilling utensils, and sports paraphernalia. Maybe you’re tired of giving a standard Father’s Day card with money. Or perhaps you just want to give him something unique and meaningful this year. If any of these scenarios resonate with you, then consider giving dad something new: a tribute letter. Simply put, it’s a written document that relates your memories of him and why he’s important to you.

It doesn’t have to be sappy and sentimental (although it can be, if that’s what you desire). It can be humorous or matter-of-fact; let your personality shine through. It can span your entire lifetime and be chronological, or it can relate a select few memories in random order. And it doesn’t have to be professionally printed and framed. Just the fact that you’ve taken the time to record some of your favorite memories will mean a lot to your father.

Begin by jotting down some of your favorite memories of your time together, whether as a child or an adult – or both.

  • What has he done that has meant the most to you?
  • How has he supported you?
  • What has he taught you?
  • What’s something that perhaps he’s forgotten all about, or some small gesture that he might have considered insignificant but which had a lasting impact on you?

Don’t worry about length; just write what’s on your mind.

Of course, not everyone has a close relationship with their father for a variety of reasons. Maybe your dad wasn’t an active part of your childhood or maybe he was actually a negative influence. Regardless, you still have memories and you still learned things from him – whether or not he was intentional in teaching them to you. Maybe he wasn’t an ideal role model; maybe his actions actually taught you what not to do in life. Nevertheless, he is a part of your DNA and has impacted your beliefs and values. He helped to shape you into the person you are today. Maybe this Father’s Day is the time to share some of your most meaningful and positive thoughts with him.

One thing is certain: no one lives forever. Time is short and we should take advantage of the opportunities we have to let our loved ones know what they mean to us. My dad was not an emotional guy; he wasn’t someone who liked to share his feelings, and he certainly wasn’t prone to sentimentality. Yet a few days before he passed away, I sent him a letter in which I shared what I loved most about him and some of my favorite memories. When I called to ask him if he received it, I could tell that he was struggling to hold back tears as he simply said, “Yep.” Even though we didn’t talk any more about it, I know that he treasured that letter.

Ultimately, your life story is not about you alone; it also includes those individuals closest to you and your interactions with them. This Father’s Day, let your dad know what he means to you.

Have you ever written a tribute letter? Share your experience in the comments section.

May Is Personal History Month – Celebrate Your Life Story!

May calendarUnlike some monthly designations, Personal History Month truly serves a purpose. What purpose? I’m glad you asked!

First, let me define personal history. Whereas the term “family history” is almost universally synonymous with genealogy, personal history (also known as life story) is, well, more personal. In a nutshell, it documents your own life experiences and beliefs rather than those of your ancestors. This can be accomplished through a variety of ways: books, letters, journals, scrapbooks, video, blogs, audio recordings, or any combination of these methods.

I’m a bibliophile, so I focus on the written forms of personal history. So much can be learned from others, and written materials enable that wisdom to be preserved and provide readers with a glimpse of the authors’ personalities. When people write correspondence, you can almost hear their voice dictating what you’re reading. In journals, people often write about what’s most important to them at that point in time. If they’re farmers, the weather might be cited often because it’s vital to their crops or if they’re parents, entries might consist of children’s antics. Decades later, these reflections might seem insignificant to a casual observer, but to a descendent, it’s a literal piece of his or her past.

Consider how powerful it would be to read a book that was written by your grandfather; one in which he reflected on all of his most impressive memories – both celebrations and heartaches – and discussed what he learned from them and how they helped shape his beliefs. What a family treasure that would be!

That is exactly what you can provide to your descendents through your own personal history.

Of course, it’s not just descendents who can benefit from your life story; it can become a valuable research document for your local area as well. You don’t live your life in a bubble; you interact with others and live in a community. Your reflections can therefore serve as an important representation of what life was like in your area during a particular time period. Future historians will be grateful for your insightful commentary.

Writing a life story isn’t difficult, but it does require time, organization, and techniques to ensure accuracy, readability, and overall quality. You can write it yourself or you can hire a professional, but the key is to begin now.  Although stories live forever, the opportunity to document them is limited.

Have you already started your life story? Leave a comment and let me know how it’s going!

6 Ways to Organize, Restore and Preserve Family Photos
Jumbled Old Photos

Source: Creative Commons

If you have ever owned a camera, then you most likely possess numerous boxes and drawers filled with family photographs and original negatives. Despite your good intentions, they continue to languish in disorganized heaps rather than being artfully displayed in picture frames or creatively designed in scrapbooks.

Digital photos, too, can be reduced to mere clutter – they fill memory cards, slow down hard drives and get dumped into unnamed desktop folders.

What is the solution? How can you move from simply being the caretaker of those buried photos to being the curator of a display that can be enjoyed by all of your family and friends?

  1. Start Small
    Even though this may seem obvious, tackle one stack at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Recognize that looking at photos is an inherently slow process because memories are associated with each one. It is natural to stop and reflect for several moments before moving on to the next photo. Thus, you might consider videotaping the process so you can verbally and visually document the entire memory, rather than just labeling a name, place and date. This will make it much easier to expand on that particular memory and group of photos should you later decide to write your personal history or memoir.
  2. Gather Appropriate Supplies
    When working with actual prints, always be sure to use archival, acid-free supplies such as pens, pencils (preferably no.4 or no.6), papers, photo albums and storage boxes. Not so long ago, it was common practice to simply write information on the back of a picture with whatever writing utensil happened to be within reach. However, the pressure of writing with the pen often causes an embossed version of the lettering on the front of the photo. Most people have also seen the detrimental affects of placing photos in old-fashioned cellophane-and-glue photo albums; the glue dries out, causing photos to fall out of the album (the glue itself sometimes damages the pictures) and the pages become brittle and yellowed. Archival supplies can be purchased at most craft and hobby stores, as well as online at specialty sites such as www.archivalmethods.com and www.gaylord.com.
  3. Scan
    If at all possible, take the time to scan each page of the old album before gently removing the pictures. This will not only safeguard the actual photos, but also preserve an image of the original handwriting and honor the time and effort it took a loved one to create the finished, albeit now defunct, heirloom. It’s also important to scan each of your loose photos from that heap in your drawer. This will digitize the images so that you can easily (and safely) store, share, and create prints from them. If you don’t own a flatbed scanner, a great alternative is a small mobile scanner (check out those offered at www.flip-pal.com).
  4. Photo Restoration
    What can you do if a photo is cracked, the corner torn, or the color has faded? Thanks to today’s technology, you can try your hand at photo restoration with your own photo editing software. Most photo processing locations (including your local pharmacy chains and big box stores) also offer these types of minor restoration services.  But what happens if your photos have experienced water damage? Contrary to popular belief, many of these photos can be salvaged. If you want to tackle the process on your own, check out the tips at http://www.scanmyphotos.com/blog/water-damage-dont-panic. You can also hire a qualified photo conservation professional.
  5. Organize
    Once your photos have been scanned, label them with as much detail as possible, and group all photos of a particular event in one folder (also appropriately labeled by event and date, if known). This should be done with both the physical pictures (placing them in acid-free albums or photo storage boxes) and the digitized versions on your computer’s desktop. Don’t forget to back up your pictures by saving them onto flash/thumb drives and/or uploading the photos to online photo storage sites such as www.smugmug.com or www.flickr.com.
  6. Create and Share
    This is the fun part! After all of your hard work sorting, scanning, labeling, and preserving your photos, now you can get creative and produce tangible and/or virtual albums to share with family and friends. Online photo sites such as www.snapfish.com enable users to create customized photo books, calendars, gift cards and more. If you would like to create a photo book that includes large amounts of accompanying text, consider using a print-on-demand company such as www.blurb.com.  Or, for those who embrace the Internet, www.pinterest.com can serve as a portal for family members to store and exchange photos, stories, and genealogical research.

Now that you have a plan of attack in place, go grab a handful of photos. Don’t expect to get through your entire collection in one day, but if you pace yourself and whittle away at it a little bit each week, you will soon have an empty drawer. Most importantly, have fun and enjoy the memories!

Have additional photo preservation tips to share? Please share them in the comments section.

How Do You Want to Be Remembered? 5 Steps to Begin a Personal History
Grandfather and Grandaughter Walking Away

Source: Creative Commons

Unlike Christmas – when people generally focus on others – New Year’s tends to cause people to focus on themselves, particularly how they can improve their lives. Almost everyone, at some point, has attempted to accomplish at least one resolution: Lose weight. Stop smoking. Spend more time with family. The list is endless.

The finality of a year ending also tends to make people introspective. Year in and year out we reflect on our successes and accomplishments as well as our losses and failures, yet often we do not take cumulative stock of those experiences. This is the crux of personal history – the ability to dig below the surface of events in order to provide treasured insight. It’s an incredibly poignant way to ensure that your life lessons, belief systems, and values are passed on to future generations. All too frequently people say to me, “My life hasn’t been very interesting; there’s nothing to tell” or “I’m too young to write about my life” or “I’m not famous; no one would be interested in reading my story.” Nothing could be farther from the truth! “There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside the dullest exterior, there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.” Mark Twain Regardless of how old you are, how mundane your life may seem, or whether or not you feel worthy of such an endeavor, future generations will treasure your life story. Think back to your own ancestors. Wouldn’t you love to know what great-great-grandpa was thinking during his ocean voyage to Ellis Island? The secrets to your grandparents’ fifty-year marriage? The emotional, social and financial struggles your mom overcame as a single parent? What compelled your dad to adhere to his work ethic? The same types of questions will be asked about you by your future descendants unless you become proactive and document your experiences for them. So how do you start a personal history?

  1. Determine the method that suits you best. Do you prefer to write in journals? Type your thoughts in a word-processing software program? Record yourself speaking?
  2. Select a topic. Even if your goal is to create an all-encompassing life story, you have to narrow your focus in order to start. Is there a life-changing experience you can share? A historically significant event in which you participated? Values you wish to impart?
  3. Designate time. Carve out a block of time (whether it’s fifteen minutes, a half hour or two hours) and a frequency (once a day, twice a week, etc.). Actually add it to your calendar and try to stick to the schedule.
  4. Choose a location. Do you think better in a noisy, crowded place like a coffee shop? Or do you prefer to work in quiet isolation at home?
  5. Write or record. Take a deep breath and begin. Don’t worry about spelling and run-on sentences at this point; the important thing is to simply start writing (or typing or recording) about the topic you selected.

Want to learn more? Sign up to follow my blog for additional personal history tips, resources, and discussions of life experiences. I welcome your comments, and if there’s a particular aspect of personal history that you would like me to address, let me know!

4 Tips for a Memorable Thanksgiving: A Focus on Family History
Thanksgiving dinner - old

Source: Creative Commons

Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and many families are looking forward to sharing a gastronomical smorgasbord with extended family members. Last year, AAA estimated that 43.6 million Americans journeyed 50 miles or more from home during the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. In addition to keeping our U.S. travel industry in business, these individuals place a priority on – and understand the value of – family.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that everyone gets along. Far from it; many of us have bribed a spouse or sibling into traversing across the country to see that one individual who, years ago, we were so glad to move away from. Yet as extended families (both functional and dysfunctional) reunite around the food-laden table, a phenomenon takes place as differences are briefly set aside and reminiscences take center stage. What better time to preserve those family memories?

  • Recordings
    One of the best ways to capitalize on this gathering is to record the conversations. After all, who is going to take the initiative to handwrite a summary of the day’s conversations on a full stomach while trying to watch the football game or snag a Black Friday deal? Although it may initially seem unnatural to many family members to have a digital recorder placed in front of them on the dinner table or a camcorder set up in the corner aimed at them, you will find that after about 10-15 minutes of talking about a favorite family memory, they will begin to relax and become less self-conscious. Tip: Be sure to have on hand extra charged batteries and memory cards.
  • Pictures
    Don’t underestimate the memory-jogging power of family photos. If you possess some old, unlabeled pictures and you can’t identify all of the people in the images, bring them with you to the gathering and ask older family members to help solve the mystery. Even if they can’t recall the names, they may recognize the background and share some additional interesting stories. Tip: In addition to taking the traditional group family photos at your gathering, take random pictures throughout the day, including the family members looking at the old photos.
  • Recipes
    Because Thanksgiving is synonymous with turkey and all of the trimmings, why not commemorate your relatives’ famous side dishes and desserts?  Notify them beforehand that you would like to obtain their recipes and ask them to bring copies to the gathering. If they’re tech savvy, you can set up an account with an online print-on-demand cookbook site and invite your relatives to enter the recipes there. Once all of you have entered the desired amount of recipes, you can create and order your own family cookbook.
  • Share
    Regardless of whether you do all of the above or just one aspect, don’t keep the information to yourself. Obtain everyone’s current snail mail, email and social media contact information before the gathering disperses. When you return home, make copies of the recordings, videos, photos, and/or recipes and send them to your extended family. Who knows? That might be the peace offering to remove that old family grudge.

The most important thing is for you to enjoy your holiday. Don’t become overzealous in your attempts to document family history; it will only cause you stress and annoy your family. Make it casual and fun, and even if you don’t solve the mystery of a photo or you forget to press “Record” on your camcorder, the important thing is that you get everyone talking about your family’s history, which can open the door for a new tradition at future family gatherings.

From Home Front to War Front: Documenting Veterans’ Experiences

Declaration and FlagI am proud to be an American, and on this Veterans Day, I am humbly reminded of the sacrifices that my fellow countrymen and women have made to ensure that the United States of America remains “the land of the free and the home of the brave.” As the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs states: “The … observance of Veterans Day [on] November 11 not only preserves the historical significance of the date [the Armistice of WWI on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month], but helps focus attention on the important purpose of Veterans Day: A celebration to honor America’s veterans for their patriotism, love of country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good” (for more information on the history of Veterans Day, visit http://www.va.gov/opa/vetsday/vetdayhistory.asp).

Living in southeastern North Carolina, I am surrounded by a U.S. military presence. The area is home to Camp LeJeune (Marines), Fort Bragg (Army), Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, and U.S. Coast Guard stations. In the Wilmington area, a variety of landmarks also serve as visual reminders of the valor and selflessness of the nations’ veterans throughout history: Moore’s Creek National Battlefield preserves the significant Revolutionary War battle that occurred there, Fort Fisher and the Wilmington National Cemetery memorialize the Civil War engagements that dealt a critical blow to Southern supply lines, the majestic battleship U.S.S. North Carolina welcomes visitors aboard to learn about her crew’s impressive campaigns during WWII, and the frequent docking of the U.S. Coast Guard cutter Diligence along the Cape Fear River represents our country’s continued protection of our coastal waters.

Yet on Veterans Day, it seems appropriate to take time to reflect on the service members themselves rather than on their general presence or the tours that the historical landmarks offer. As a personal historian, I am especially interested in individual experiences – not just what happened, but also what thoughts and emotions were intertwined with the events.

My father served in the Army National Guard for many years. I wish that he were here today so that I could ask him about his experiences at boot camp and the relief/assistance missions that he participated in here in the States. As it is, I am left with a few childhood memories of him teaching me how to march while chanting the cadence (“I don’t know but I’ve been told! … Sound off [1,2], Sound off [3,4]…”), showing me his bivouac gear and rations, and me proudly watching him as he marched with our town’s American Legion post in various parades. On a few occasions, he took me to “the Legion” – it was a treat for me because although I participated in the American Legion Little League program, I was typically only allowed on the ball fields, not inside the building itself. I loved to listen in on the adult conversations as I nibbled on french-fries and sipped a soft drink.

Today, my love of listening to, and reading about, others’ stories has not waned. I am intrigued by reading the diaries and love letters of soldiers (see http://www.teacheroz.com/WWII_Oral_History.htm for a great list) and I have been honored to help preserve the Air Force experiences of one of my clients.

If you possess a box filled with a relative’s war correspondence or journals, I encourage you to preserve them and make them accessible to other family members and the public in general. Photocopy the originals (if they are fragile or are showing signs of wear, first consult with a professional to avoid potential damage caused by the scanning process) and transcribe them into a Word document, which will make it easy to send to family members via email or to print multiple copies. Then contact your local historical society and library and offer to provide them with copies.

If you are fortunate enough to still be able to visit with a veteran, particularly one who is a family member, consider conducting a recorded oral interview (or a series of interviews). These recordings can also be transcribed into a written work, if so desired. Interviews are fun to do, and the result is priceless. The Veterans History Project is a fantastic resource to help you in this endeavor, plus it results in the preservation of your veteran’s experience within the Library of Congress’ American Folklife Center (for more information, visit http://www.loc.gov/vets/).

To any veterans reading this post, I want to say “thank you.” These two words seem so small, but they contain heartfelt gratitude for your willingness to defend this amazing country and its citizens.

About Dalene


Dalene Bickel is an author, book coach and ghostwriter of nonfiction and historical fiction who loves to help beginning writers become established authors.

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